Is that Blood on Your Hands? Here’s the Best Wedding Dress to go with it.

You know eventually it’ll be that season we all love soon enough. The question on every bride’s mind is “What’s the perfect dress?”.

The questions on my mind are “Jesus, do I really need to fly to all these far ass places on weekdays?” and “Does he really need to be getting hitched this close to his third divorce?”.

You might be out there looking for the perfect dress, but I’m not. I don’t want to be. I had my wedding. You know what my brother says: “One and done”. And here’s some relationship advice, Veronica. Next time you see a cute guy and think you’d like his ring on your twiggy little finger, just go home and watch You on Netflix.

Happy wedding season!

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